


The List

by Romano_the_great



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders Angst, Insecure Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Not Beta Read, Panic Attacks, Sad Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, i cant write, new ep, projecting whose she
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-16
Updated: 2020-12-16
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:21:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,104
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28099113
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Romano_the_great/pseuds/Romano_the_great
Summary: Roman had a list of mistake, he hated how every time he came out of his room the list would grow.(read the tags before reading!)
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Logic | Logan Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Morality | Patton Sanders, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders & Logic | Logan Sanders, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders & Morality | Patton Sanders, Logic | Logan Sanders & Morality | Patton Sanders
Comments: 3
Kudos: 69





	The List

**Author's Note:**

> sorry for the bad summary! if you're reading this because you clicked on this on purpose! then thank you! just please read the tags before reading, at the end if i missed anything then tell me. this entire thing was just me kinda rambling. this was after fwsa so if you haven't seen it yet then pls do. now on to reading!

Roman hated himself. 

He hated how he boasted about anything he made. 

He hated how when he was stressed, he would snap at other people. 

He hated how he was narcissistic. 

He hated how dumb he was. 

He hated how insecure he was. 

He hated how prideful he was. 

He hated how ugly he was. 

He hates how many scars lined his body. 

He hated how he was never good at anything. 

He hated how his best seemed to be never enough. 

That was what roman was thinking about while he ate breakfast. His gaze was fixed on the milk jug next to his cereal, but he wasn’t reading the small comic on the back. He started thinking back to his list of mistakes. He had kept one since the mess that had been accepting anxiety. 

Every time he came out of his room the list seemed to grow. Before he only wrote down the important things. He called Virgil a mean name, he ignored Logan. Stuff like that. But lately the list had expanded to trivial things. He ate the last pop tart, he didn’t push in his chair, he rolled his eyes at a joke that was on tv. 

He knew the list wasn’t helping, but he couldn’t stop adding to the shinny black book. 

Somewhere in the back of his mind wondered what his next mistake would be. 

“you tired kiddo?” Roman looked up to see Patton smiling at him. 

Roman smiled back. “yeah, I had a challenging time falling asleep last night,” 

It wasn’t necessarily a lie; he did have a tough time sleeping. He just never slept last night, instead he had been working on ideas for logan and slowly adding to the list. 

“maybe you should take a nap after breakfast?” Patton squeezed his shoulder and went back to his breakfast. 

Oh, great now Patton was worried about him, another mistake. 

“maybe,” he mumbled and turned back to his own breakfast. 

He could feel Virgil’s eyes on him. He tried to think of something to change the subject but couldn’t think of anything. 

He was failing at his one job, another mistake to add to the list. 

“hey Patton, what time is it? I have a meeting with Thomas at ten,” 

Roman silently thanked logan. He glanced up and saw Virgil’s eyes were staring at Patton expectantly. 

The rest of the morning went by in a breeze. He went back to his room and brainstormed a few more ideas then went to have lunch with the others. They had picked this day to have a picnic in the imagination. So, he found himself sitting next to Virgil eating the miniature sandwiches Patton had bring. 

“hey Logan, can you pass the soda bottle?” Roman asked. 

“you’ve already had three glasses, I’m not sure that much soda is advisable!” Logan said gently. 

Roman rolled his eyes and reached over to grab the bottle. 

“whatever you say specs!” he grabbed his cup and poured it to the top. 

“logan snatched the cup from his hand. They fought over for a moment then it spilled on his shirt. 

Roman froze. 

He messed up again. 

He was mean. He rolled his eyes. He didn’t listen. Now this. he was a mistake. What was he doing here anyways? He needed to get back to his room where their eyes weren’t boring into him. Where he didn’t have to pretend to be perfect. He needed to leave. But he was stuck. That would make them suspicious if he left suddenly. 

“logan! I’m so sorry!” Roman grabbed napkins and shoved them on logan patting the remains of the drink off. “it was my fault! I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to! It was a mistake! I’m sorry! I’m so sorry!” 

“roman! Its fine, mistakes happen,” Logan said gently pushing roman off his shirt. 

Roman kept apologizing and grabbed more napkins. 

“I’m sorry! I really didn’t mean too; I swore I’ll do better! I-I I I’m sorry!” 

“Roman! Stop! Just breathe.” This time it was Virgil. “can you breathe with me,” 

Roman stared at Virgil, who did some exaggerated breaths. 

Roman made so many mistakes. The list was getting longer. They all hated him. He was failing. He made too many mistakes! 

“I-I can’t! I-I i-im so- so sorry! I-I” Roman was near crying. 

“it’s okay just try.” 

He tried for a bit, eventually finding a rhythm. 

“I’m sorry about that! I don’t know what came over me!” roman gave a lopsided grin. 

They stared at him for a long uncomfortable moment. 

Oh, great another mistake to add to the list. He lifted the half-finished sandwich to his mouth. He wasn’t hungry anymore he just needed something to do other then stare awkwardly at his shaky hands. 

“are you okay Princy?” Virgil coaxed. 

“I’m fin emo nightmare! I’m just a little confused about what just happened.” He gave a shaky smile. 

“I think you just had a panic attack kiddo,” Patton grimaced. 

“what would I have to panic about?” logan and Patton looked at each other seeming to have one of those silent conversations. 

“you tend to hold yourself at an impossible standard plus you said you didn’t sleep well last night, maybe the combination made you have a higher stress rate and you finally cracked under the pressure?” logan chattered. 

Roman nodded slowly. 

“well, if that’s true maybe you should take a nap like Patton suggested,” Virgil rose an eyebrow at logans statement. 

Roman gave a quiet ‘okay’ then sunk out. 

He landed in his room. he walked over to his desk and pulled out his notebook. Adding his newest mess-ups to the page he heard a knock at the door. 

He wondered who it could be. Logan didn’t seem likely. Patton was probably cleaning up his mess. He doubted Virgil would care, and they hadn’t seen Janus since the last ep. Which left Remus playing a prank on him. 

“open up Princy I know your awake!” he knew that sarcastic voice anywhere, it was Virgil. 

He got up not bothering to close his notebook. Virgil would probably only stay a minute. 

He opened the door. Outside Virgil was standing holding a box of cookies. 

“Patton and I felt bad about earlier, so we made cookies,” he said well pushing the box into his arms. “I gotta go! Bye or whatever!” 

roman closed the door then sat down at his desk. As he munched on his cookies, he took out his other notebook and wrote down ideas. 

Even if it would ultimately be a failed attempt he could at least try to pretend he wasn’t useless.

**Author's Note:**

> projecting? whose she? never met her! lol! I like don't know how to spell. i just hope you enjoyed! sorry this is so short! pls comment or leave kudos i'm like desperate. if i messed up on anything i would like to know so i can fix it. have a nice morning/evening/night!


End file.
